Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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