someone get that fucking seahorse.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
