apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
