That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
