My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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