i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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