They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
