I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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