Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
