if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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