Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So much Jack, so little girl.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
