Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
