I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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