Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
