I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
