So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
