I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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