The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
