Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
