Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
where are you?
Hypothermia
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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