Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
