Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
