Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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