i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
