I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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