Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
