well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
