Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
