I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
