im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
