Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think I am morally bankrupt
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
