I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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