There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
