Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
