"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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