Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
