Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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