i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
