dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just want to make out with him forever
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
