I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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