The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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