found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
