How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
