Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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