me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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