It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
