If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
