Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
