morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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