im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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