I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
